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doubleg_2nd
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Name: Gabriel
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Sacramento
Birthday: 1/9/1983
Gender: Male
Interests: Saving the world, science, people, social justice, the Bible, principles
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/27/2004
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| You're not going to win me over with happiness
when what I need is eternal life,
or social visits
when what I need is a Spirit-to-spirit,
heart-to-heart
beat.
beat.
What? Have you nothing else to say?
Say say talk
talk talk to God
they say
say say,
but not to me.
Say hey?
Sometimes,
but more often than not
not
so much
omitted
forget it?
How can I?
What for war
wonder well
when I'll surely be in hell,
since we none know neither
when/how/where
we leave this dwell-
ing to be far gone.
Too far gone to make a difference.
Am I?
I think not.
Do you?
...still nothing to say?
Or may...
...be?
Fine,
be that way.
Or change.
Spare change will do,
but love makes more cents
and dollars and millions
and better, since that treasure is secure,
but how can there be security in silence
when there is yet so much to be spoken?
Take my token
piece of advice,
if it is even that.
But don't add to my vice
ad[d]vice
that serves less than
heart-mind-soul-strength
love
not full strength.
Or willingness is okay,
if that's all you have to spare
change
me
you
commitment
=love
from God's perspective,
not feelings.
Like sympathy.
Spare small sympathies,
as pathetic as they sym,
like pathology
symptomatic
of the path
to empathy
empty path
is all I see,
because love≠emotion
from God's perspective,
but commitment.
But willingness will do.
Will you?
I know.
I've not been the best.
That's the problem, I confess.
But to get better,
first step.
Not imagined, not "forget it,"
this is real.
Simple.
Why can't you see that?
Can you?
Due
duty
ditto.
Do you see the widow
and the orphan in my eyes?
Or is it a surprise?
The Good Shepherd leaves the flock
to find
the lost
sheep.
You follow the Good Shepherd, don't you?
So you say,
but you walk away,
back to the flock,
your back to me.
Do you think I don't see?
And can He not see
your clear and obvious
hypocrisy?
I see you.
Where are you?
Talking.
But not to me?
What if
you're wrong?
Hey, stop judging me,
without listening,
always needing to be right!
But I'm not.
I'll pray for you.
*silence*
Is there any more?
Say it. No more silence, please,
not any more.
©Gabriel Koulikov
--
God, this hurt to write.
It hurt more to post.
But I hope, maybe, something.
I tried writing something more direct and serious over this last month, but this came out instead. It's been almost and over a year*. Please reply. (*=see below)
If you consider yourself a Christian, and see God's Word as having authority, I'm talking to you.
Why the no James 2, John 13-17, or even Luke 15/John 10 response, so clear? Between those three, all possible perspectives about me are covered-- but there have been none of those! Supposedly Christian, supposedly Bible-based... how can I but doubt? (and why don't you?) Have you ever known anyone else so wanting to convert that you stop talking to him when he needs help the most, and is willing? How can you possibly convert anyone, or otherwise do the Matt. 28:18-20 thing if this is your behavior with one MOST WILLING to, and most wanting to seek mutual commitment/benefit in the process?!
-Note: I don't see talking as the solution, but doing. But not doing plus not talking? How can that be the solution? Like how "collaboration" means "together laboring," not talking. Get it?
I think if we put our heads together and tried SOMETHING, something good might come out. I'm not asking for a free meal. I'm not asking for "just anything." But SOMETHING... something is the solution. Not lack of it, but it's presence.
I've tried to "fix my life" on my own during this last year; it still hasn't worked. Help.
"Hello, my name is Gabe Koulikov, and I'm a compromise addict. I admit I'm a hypocritical apathetic compromiser, but I'm an honest one; I want to change." I have been unable to reach sobriety on my own. Is there no intervention?
In case you didn't catch that last time, yes, this is a literal and deliberate and loud cry for HELP. And it's still there. I've tried to fix it on my own. And it's still there. So, please SOMETHING...
I don't get how my so-called friends so-called "Christians" so-called "Bible believers" could ignore this for over a year and not understand what that would mean.
I know that really "the only One who can help me is God," but for those who supposedly "have God," why not some real help with finding Him? Don't you care whether or not those you know end up in hell and the Lake of Fire forever?
And if you say nothing else, or do nothing else, please at least let me know precisely WHY you each stopped talking with me on such topics of critical importance (if you never read the original post, this does not include you; if you have, it does), as I still have not figured that one out. (minus Elisheva P, Carrie G, and sometimes Esther K, so thanks to them-- though I would like to know why you three often wait months at a time to continue past conversations on such topics) Either private messages or public comments for this topic are fine.
And any comments/questions/feedback from the rest of y'all would be nice. (i.e. from those who don't consider themselves Christians, or who otherwise don't see the Bible as having significant authority over one's life)
--
*For those who don't know what I'm referring to, please read my blog from last year, though some of my perspectives have changed (like recognizing "church," the building and the service, as pagan and not biblical thanks to Frank Viola's explanations and citations in Pagan Christianity, and that now I explicitly articulate myself concerning how comprehensively Bible-based Christianity is the only legitimate/defensible form of Christianity; also, I've started learning biblical Hebrew and Greek), but it's still a close enough "gist." | | |
| First, some historical points, then follows mostly my opinion/perspectives concerning them:
1) The Native Americans occupying what is currently classified as the continental U.S. were systematically displaced by the government (legal U.S. governmental policy) through a combination of force and manipulation, resulting in a drastic lowering of their population levels.
2) There still exists the governmental department responsible for this destruction, still receiving our tax funding to continue their "work": the Bureau of Indian Affairs.
Not all of the destruction was caused by the government. More recent studies that showed that European, etc., diseases cut many tribes' population by half or more before they even had contact with a single immigrant. Enough of the lasting damage was caused by governmental policy, with lasting effects, being targeted and systematic, and with the types of repercussions we have been left with today that I can't help but classify this "governmental policy" as genocide.
Native Americans are arguably the most ignored adult demographic in the U.S. even today. The vast majority of them still live segregated from the rest of society, with a governmental department still taking our taxpayer money to oversee this segregation. While they are free to leave (for the most part), a large majority of them don't do so specifically because of the continued suffering inflicted on them by our government.
What is their oppression strategy? Mostly, it's welfare.
Someone once said poverty is the greatest injustice of all. But how is the poverty of the Native Americans maintained? None of them actually NEED to get jobs; the government is taking care of them. After all, isn't that the most compassionate thing we as a people can do to this historically victimized people group, a people which our very government helped victimize?
And yet, it is that very policy which even THEY realize is largely keeping them from exercising their human abilities of innovation, hard work, compassion, etc., all because of governmentally enabled codependence. The poorest places in the continental U.S. are not inner cities, but Indian Reservations.
From all I've learned over the years, I find it incredibly frustrating that their is still a "bureau of X people group affairs" in this country at all, let alone the one that caused the raping of the land and destruction of indigenous cultures and deaths in the millions just so we can live in relative affluence on eminently domained "government property" today. Probably at least once every month since I learned exactly what happened to these people at the hands of our government, and how all our government has done is "swept it under the rug" with only token acknowledgment in their complicity to this genocide. I call the limited acknowledgments token because the oppression is STILL GOING ON! It is the biggest stain of hypocrisy across the face of this supposedly "advanced, civilized culture" and "free nation" that has never gone away, never even tried to be washed off, just some make up applied so we can pretend it's not there anymore.
My memory of specific emotional motivations from a decade ago isn't very reliable, but at least once I remember thinking that this one thing was enough of a reason for me to try to "save the world," or this country, or whatever, in some kind of systemic way, that this was one problem that has never gone away, and the American people haven't really done anything substantial about it.
It has been our common, ugly heritage that we have continued to monetarily support. Are you an American tax payer? Then you give money to support bigoted oppression, just as your predecessors did. And the oppression of these people by our people continues to this day, under this government. In a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, the only people who can change this are we the people. Or not.
--
More provocative this time? | | |
| I could go on and on about how I totally thought the Obama birth certificate fiasco was a myth, disproved by Snopes, etc.
Suffice it to say: read, read, read. (these are all from the same website because it's the only place online I was able to find easily with much information that was less than a month old)
So, this was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back. Despite all the criticisms I had about all the mountains of unconstitutional things this government has been doing for the last century and a half, both de facto and explicit, I was still willing to hold out that this government was at least a legitimate continuation of the constitutional government that had been getting more and more corrupt as time went on, but that it still had the constitution as its core, despite however many layers had grown to cover it, and could potentially be reformed (i.e. "uncorrupted") in the opposite direction as well. No longer. All levels of government must reject the constitution as the highest law for Obama to be sworn in as president with this constitutional requirement left hanging, the Supreme Court itself simply denying it, rather than looking at the evidence! If ANY level of the government took the constitution seriously, we would be in civil war right now. Both the Revolutionary War and the Civil War were fought over less. (let's not forget all those other straws on the camel's back now!)
I figure the least I can do is exercise what free speech the current administration has seen fit to allot me, so every day that Obama is in office is another day to expose government corruption, and develop systemic solutions to this system-wide problem. Okay, so it finally gave me the motivation to post my ideas and things about my life online more frequently, as I think I've been saying I should do for years now. I will put everything out in the open, rather than keeping much to myself (at least as far as my online self had been concerned-- being open to share everything with everyone has its space-time-matter-energy and biological limits), or otherwise scattered across half the internet.
All those people called America "The Great Satan" can eat their hearts out, as we are now, quite literally, an obamanation.
--
Okay, so I like to write in flowery language as much as the next man, er vegetable, but I've tried to keep my language more to the point and analytical for quite some time. I'm still doing the "serious and joking at the same time, unless I clearly indicate otherwise" bit. What do you think? More flowers, fewer flowers? Mix up the botanical varieties a little? Back to creativity + analysis? Specific suggestions?
-EDIT: Actually, this is more "provocative" than flowery. I'm still learning English. Also, I like botany.
Feel free to please link sources more insightful and conclusive than what I was able to find.
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| And I've never felt happier. | | |
| Start a movement to repeal the 16th amendment (a la prohibition?).
Take a long visit Hong Kong before you decide whether to definitely move there.
Learn to defend yourself.
Calm down.
3 rules of reality.
Exercise your will as a matter of course. (5-D)
-Correct your course along the way, of course!
Plan to fail, so you don't fail to plan! (and prepare)
Work every day that's a work day. Work all the time you work. Play all the time you play. Big picture, creative/analytical (re)evaluation of life, etc., with the rest. (Rest)
No more drugs; yes more better-than-drug alternatives. Continual always. (Way)
Find people by starting inside yourself and working your way outward. (oxygen deprivation triage)
Where is respect?
-incomplete-
Flash, flash, flash. *tone*
To be continued...? | | |
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